Dear Member of the Developing World,
If you have the credentials to be a professional or a skilled labourer, we would like to invite you to apply to immigrate to our fine nation. We cannot guarantee that your found employment will reflect the aforementioned credentials. In fact, we CAN guarantee that your employment will put your education to shame.
No matter, what really matters to us, is the education of your children. In fact, you should be proud at the thought of contributing to the Canadian economy through the intonation of your sweet child`s voice as they say: `Would you like fries with that?” Lest you fear that immigration is not all it’s billed as, there’s always YOUR ability to get a job. Right? Right.
What we can guarantee is a spot with an illustrious chauffer agency, Sedexo, or au pair job. Likely, all of these jobs will put you in close contact with over-educated, under-qualified university students, who will have access to the primary job market. You will not. That should not deter you from applying, as Canadians seem not to want to reproduce themselves. Thus, we are vehemently pursuing a policy of misrepresenting Canadian life, so as to increase immigration. If you would like to be a part of this fairy tale, please apply below.
Sincerely,
The Ministry of Lies and Propaganda
Under the Government of Stephen I-Enslave-Your-First-Born Harper
P.S. Those with high hopes for a better life, education for their children, and an improvement of any kind…need not apply.
P.P.S. Don’t even THINK about getting sick.
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DISCLAIMER:
You should know that the previous post was the result of an assignment asking students to write a "real letter" to an immigrant, informing them as to the realities of life in Canada. While it is intended to be humourous in nature, the life that many immigrants face upon entry to Canada is hard, and their difficulties should not be downplayed. That said, some of the comments brought up by the letter are worth further discussion, contemplation, and are a source for worry.
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